wOrLd_of_fActOrs [-fantasy world-] a_new_beginning*

2007-07-11T03:56:00.000+08:00

now its 11th of july 3.58a.m
wow and theres school in a few hours time
what is xavier chen doing here? : )
hahaha.just cant get to sleep eh.
yeah becuz i have so many problems to face right now.
i got back my mid years results ah.
36-econs
38-math
53-general paper

the rest still dunnno yet larh but confirm fail.
yeah.seems rather lousy arh.
as usual right.
sian.sian.
just feel so so so so so so tired of everything.
yar yar i got to move on.
hard to explain how bad is my life now.
but still its reli reli bad.
lol.
yeah i still can lol.
becuz i believe all these problems will go away soon.
yeah i think in about a month's time.
yups.
i will turnaround everything.
and make life so wonderful like the past.
where i can go sakae buffet thrice every week.
yar i yearn for that.
and i am sure i can.
with faith and belief.
nothing gonna be too daunting?
hahahahahahahaha.
all rights midyear results are reli reli too lousy.
put that behind from now onwards.
and do wad u are supposed to do.
okay post-mortem for mid years is over.
lol.
its prelims this time.
no more U U U U.
all d best : )

2007-04-14T18:15:00.000+08:00

i am back here.
well it isnt anything good.
somehow i regret many thing that i didnt do in e past.
seriously.i told myself i am not gonna make e same mistake anymore.
but somehow its doesnt help at all.
i am still so slack so unmotivated.
i admit i reli try at times.
but i guess trying is not enough.
becuz we have to try our best.
ahh!
i just feel stress out and headache whenever i do my work.
sounds do ridiculous.i mean i have been studying for so many years alr.
all these shld be alr part and parcel of my life long ago.
haiiiii.
even after yesterday.
i am still like that.
i reli want to ask why why why am i like that.
my life seems to be like in a big mess.
i just dunno where and when to start clearing them up.
if only i had made e right move right from e start.
i wouldnt be in this mess right now.
wahhhh.
i got to move on.
move on move on.
nothing is too difficult for me.
come on come on.
wheres that faith in you?

the world is coming to an end : )

2007-02-07T21:01:00.000+08:00

it has been sucha long time since i last post : )
i would like to wish february babies
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

xiao-mei: 6th feb
jasmin: 8th feb
ming wei: 11th feb
boon kai: 12th feb
karen: 24th feb
myself: 20th feb : )

it has been alr i month plus since sch-reopened
it has been so hard and tough
tons of work.cca.blah blah.
i find it so hard to keep myself going on.
its reli reli tiring.
but somehow.things are starting to get better.
haha.i guess.
its all about studies.cca.nothing else alr.
sometimes
i guess it gets tiring to set expectations for people.
when u get closer to someone.
the higher the expectations.
more often than not the person fails you.
you get upset.
whats the point seriously.
yeah.prefer not to set expectations.
just treat everyone the same will do : )
thats the right spirit agree eh?
come on! : )
always look things on the positive sides.
and always take the initiative!!

have faith.
true love only exsits in HIS world : )

2007-01-01T03:08:00.000+08:00

hEy!
its 1st jan 2007.
its like 3.10 am alr.
hahaha.
just feel like blogging now eh.
hmmm.
oh yar.
on 30th night its st john bbq!
hahaha had lots of fun there.
though i thought will be quite sianx at first.
cuz my batch so little ppl going eh.
tun liang cheryl jie qian me and jasmin.
tads all eh.
no jonathan.matthew.yuhan.wei xuan.
well i did try to ask them.
but they either dun wan make it cannot make it or cannot be bothered to make it.
lol.i dunno larh.
so in e end.went there.
wahh.
straight away blackjack liao.
my luck was reli good at first.
but then of cuz.
in life.cant possibly good luck all e way eh.
so lost alot back.
in end win 3.7 dollars.
cheapo!
so sianx-ed cuz i acty won 15 bucks one.
so went to eat bbq food.
slack.and crap.with adeline.annchi.
haha.
then went in.
awhile got ppl ask me mahjong.
of cuz i play larh.
my fave eh.
so sat down.
in e end.overall won 10 like that.
hahaha.not bad deal.
later play dai-dee.
wahh.
keep on gamble.
haha.win 5 bucks like tad.
not bad again.lol.
then play some entertaining yet free game.
hahaha.
awhile later jiu go home le larh.
slept at like 7 plus in e morning.
crazy timing.
totally my body clock is spoiled!
hahahaha.
i think its reli nicee to have this chalet.
becuz its like yearly gathering eh.
we meet up with each other.
and like catch up have fun.
but well not many cherish that.
cuz some ppl have moved on alr.
so cannot blame them.
but well to me.
i love these gatherings still.
or maybe next time we can come up with like council chalets yearly too.
hahahaha.
or maybe the orientation camps are enough le.
but its kind of weird bah.
next year i dun think i even know those ppl eh.
hahaha.
no point going back right lol.
yupps.
ahsjab ahscouncil.
hmmm.
some things are meant to stay in our hearts.
yupps.
but yet we have to move on still : )

why do we fall?
so that we can learn to pick ourselves up : )

2006-12-14T02:58:00.000+08:00

insomnia yet again.
haii.
its 14 dec and its 2.59a.m.
but thankfully.
there are two great matches coming up.
haha.its chelsea vs newcastle.
and wigan vs arsenal.
i didnt bet on these two matches eh.
so surprising.
but its because its so hard to bet.
lol.
but i place a twenty dollar bet on newcastle to kick off.
wonder i will be lucky enough to win.
its a 50-50 chance eh. : )
i just realise something.
i have yet to take photos with many of my good friends eh.
imean individually.
i hope to take with all of them someday.
yeah.
sometimes i reli wonder what i want.
i am so fickle.
i am reli fickle.
i dunno whats wrong.
but i guess im not mature enough yet.
i may want this now.
but the next moment.
i choose not to want.
haiiii.
thats why sometimes i regret many of the decision i made.
BUT.
if we dun make mistakes.
how do we know where we go wrong.
and i will never learn the right things eh?
sounds logical.
but somehow.
my heart is pinning for something.
something or maybe somebody.
i dun want it now.
or rather to make it clearly.
i hope to have it for e rest of my life.
eh.i guess.
thats up to fate bah.
i just hope maybe 10 years down the road.
it will be a different outcome from now.
yeah i am waiting.
i am hoping.
the day to come.
i carn wait to turn 21 : )
because that will be a new stage of my life.
yeah i am looking forward to it.
may GOD bless everyone.
AMEN

have faith : )

2006-12-13T15:25:00.000+08:00

hey.today is 13th dec.
no is 3.26p.m.
hahahaha.the life now is so slack.
so relaxing.but i like it alot.
just 3 more weeks.
its gonna be back to square one.
have to work hard alr.
hai.how sianx is that.
i dread the life 3 weeks from now.
its all about mugging mugging mugging!
nowadays i find it so hard to fall asleep.
seems like i have so much so much to think about.
the past.the present.the future.
haii.
i always sleep after like 3.30a.m. in e morning.
everyday okie.
i jus carn help it.
i tried to sleep early.
but i just cant.
sometimes i can only sleep like 6a.m. larh.
insomnia.hahaha.
sometimes life its all about timing.
once you lose it you lose it.
i dun wan history to repeat itself.
yeah.im so gonna be determined.
to work hard for what i want in life.
come on.
i faced so many disappointments.
its time i get back my pride and glory yeah?
hahaha.
chen jieming xavier.
you gonna do it all right?

have faith : )

2006-12-08T01:59:00.000+08:00

hEy.
today is 8th dec.
now it is 2.01 am.
haha.
ydae i went for tennis training in e morning eh.
haha.was a great one i muz admit.
not tiring.and very fun oh.
i warmed up with edward at first.
later on there were some matchplays eh.
i partner edward again to play doubles.
haha.it was fun yeah.
we both made mistakes together.
but we had some pretty good shots too.
though we lost the first match.it was a close one.
we were leading like 4-love.
then we lost concentration.
lost e match in e end.
though abit sianx.
we enjoyed and decided to play better.
haha true enough we played well at first.
we were leading again.
but we let our opponent catch up.
but we up-ed our level.
and got ahead 12-9.
match point.
however it rained too heavily.
so could not continue.
how sad.it was counted as we didnt win.
but nvm.
it was a good effort right?
haha.
and our game plan worked at last.
which is just put the ball in play.
cut down errors hahahaha.
yupps.
and ms suey talked to me abit bout.
my poor attendance eh.
yeah.i promised to attend every trainings if im fit.
im serious.
im not gonna let ppl who have expectations of me down.
and i am gonna shut those people who say
im not good enough.
yeah a point to prove.
anyway i got nothing to lose right?
yeah.this is my promise to GOD too : )
yeah.
just returned from a jog btw.
so cool to jog at night.
not many people.quiet somemore.
but abit dangerous larh.
cuz wait ppl suddenly attack u from behind.
then get raped or get rob.
then u r gone.
haha.
emotionally and physically DEAD!
rubbish larh.
lol.
yeah.
well nothing much to post alr.
so till now.its goodbye : )

p.s tennis is good!

2006-12-05T18:05:00.000+08:00

hey.today is a cool day.
its windy and looks like its gonna rain.
hahaha.
yesterday was 4th Dec.
it was ng zhao xiang's birthday.
haha.once again.
we celebrated together at 85.
violet.jem.shimin.siyao.mingwei.myself.zhao.
and some friends of zhao.siyao.mingwei.
ronald.eepin.wei ming.derrick.
haha.dunno correct anot.yeah.
after that becuz everyone was tired.
so everybody went home.
haha.but i went home awhile.
jiu head for downtown east.
for some ahsjab chalet eh.
haha.i was super super late.
everyone was like going home liao le.
but nvm.hahaha.
then so coincidental saw the three friends of zhao.siyao.ming wei.
haha.but they didn't see me though.
and i saw michelle chua and tan yuyang.
haha they were slacking by themselves.
and yuyang passed me some kind of medicine drink.
lol.damn super disgusting.haha.
then later went back the bbq pit.
sat there while start to play blackjack.
haha.so no life man commented by michelle chua.
but she also no better lar.
go toilet and walk around.also very no life.
haha.then saw the zhao.siyao.mingwei's fren, eepin.
i said hello.then he abit shocked.cannot recognise me liao.
until i help him refresh his memory at 85 jus now.
then he remember.oh gosh.
i am a forgotten man.lol.
so the no life blackjack goes on.
was talking cock also.
but i was lucky.i think got win 10 bucks like tad.
haha.reli lucky ydae : )
then sianx liao went into chalet.so many ppl sleeping le.
i played x-box with lu huan and kok keng.
then later switch ppl.
melvin kok keng me and yu kun.
yu kun say he doesnt know how to play.
but quite pro larh.
faker him.
closet mugger at home i think.
haha.
we keep on losing until the last match.
the goal was scored by melvin/me.
haha.match haven end yet.
we were leading 1-0.
but then lu huan suddenly wake up and say "cut"
haha.shocking sia.think we super noisy.
yeah then we went off loh.
haha.
me weisong and harris took 17 home.
quite fast man.
the journey only 25 mins leh.
no people wad.
so early no one take bus one right.
came home.
thought super dark.
in e end so bright larh.
my sister never sleep.
watching soccer man city vs watford.
0-0.
so sianx.
but my sis win money larh.
lol.wad a move.
and till now she did not sleep.
not she went out to k-boxing alr.
wad e hell.
where got ppl so pro one?
hahaha.siao eh.
now i slacking.
mum and bro going wedding dinner soon.
haha.i'll be alone laterr.
how exciting man.
yeah.this post abit long.
and this is e first time i posting about.
wad i did in one day.
quite intersting sia.
so many different names mentioned.
well.its good to lead a happening life : )

2006-11-23T23:56:00.000+08:00

finally im back to update again eh. : )
haha.
today i had tennis training once again.
yeah i love today's one.
somehow time flies very quickly man.
it was kind of fun dunno why.
but then.
i played lousy.
yeah.i wasnt concentrating.
i was daydreaming at certain times.
haha.got scolded.
i wasnt volleying correctly.
i didnt lock my wrist.
i let my wrist dropped.
and the ball couldn't get past the net.
i didnt open my racket face wide enough.
in e end the volley shots went into the net.
yeah my forehand.
taking the ball very late.
always flicking the ball.
that nicee wiping move.
no follow through.
let my wrist dropped to contact the ball.
standing too straight up.
should have bent down to hit the ball.
my racket did not go under the ball.
hence the ball went into the net again.
arhhh.
and my backhand.
my follow through wasnt smooth.
and never follow through one big swing yeah.
too much spin on the ball.
hahaha.
my serve.
never bend my knees.
never leap up to contact the ball.
my arms are not extending high enough to contact the ball.
no power no spin.
many many double faults.
haiyoh so lousy right.
and also lazy to run.
footwork lousy.
hahaha.
how to win.
how to play.
i mus admit im reli lousiest in the team.
like wad my teacher hinted.
yeah i know myself bah.
but im still contented to practise hard.
in case im needed in any matches in case
my teammates get injured.
yeah only when they are injured.
i MAY get a chance to play and lose.
yupp.
vice-captain.
being a reserve and not playing up
to the standard that others and himself are expecting.
well what can i say.
he knows so many people have commented on his medicore skills.
he knows that people have criticises him.
wahh vice captain leh not good at all leh.
wahh this one yur vice-cap ah
think you play much better than him leh
how cum u not vicee cap ah
heyy i think i wanna join tennis and be vicee cap
cuz i can trash u so easily leh hahaha
ohhh welll.
sounds so bad.
but thats the real situation.
well too bad for myself.
i chose this path.
i have no choice but to walk on.
yeah half a year left bah.
come on walk on.
i mean thats what life is all about.
sweet.bitter.
i am prepared to walk on.
i believe with faith and GOD's love and grace.
i am gonna make it somehow.
if HE brings me to it.
HE will bring me thru it.
in LORD's name i pray.
Amen : )

2006-11-17T00:09:00.000+08:00

oh well.i had training today.
wasnt as bad though.
yeah today was a slightly happier one.
haha.didnt play too badly.
but i am rather lousy still.
and i got slight sunburn haha.
looks tanner and more cool eh.
hmm.just watch shanghai masters.
oh no andy roddick is out!
my fave player in this tournament.
hai.how sad.he nearly beat federer.
oh he had beaten federer.
he would be in the semis.
now hes out.how ironic man.
just one point u are out of e tournament.
and david nalbandian.he lost his first two matches.
he looked as if he was going to finish last.
in e end.he won his last match against roddick.
he finished second and qualify.
wad a move!
how ironicee again.
ah.tmr nadal will play davydenko.
i wish davydenko will qualify but we all know
all good nadal is.well seems quite certain that
nadal gonna win this one.
haha.
whateverr.
and if anyone still rmb.
my idol and fave tennis player.
guillermo coria.
he was onced the world no.3
and he should have been the champion
of french open 2004.
he was playing in this tournament last year.
now hes 100 over positions in e world.
how saddd.its only one year man.
and his back hand down the line
is featured in the tennis magazine.
it was rated as one of the world's best.
and he beat Agassi.he was the argentine's no.1
guillermo coria.
oh well.pls dun forget him.he will be back soon!
yeah have faith in him ppl.
haha how i wish i can play as well as him too.
haha.this is a tennis post.
good night people : )

2006-11-15T19:38:00.000+08:00

bOO!
so long never update alr.
well so i am here now.
hmm.somehow i dun reli enjoy the process of training.
maybe tennis is a sport.
its so different from my cca in the past.
ahsjab is a uniform group.
where everyone of us come together.
and unite as one whole division.
though my squad is not bonded.
well at least AA'05 is right?
haha.but thats not the point.
but i used to love CCAs and trainings.
and i enjoy and look forward in attending those sessions.
but now.i dun look forward in attending CCAs.
sounds bad but thats reli e truth.
haiii.dunch noe how to describe but nvm.
anyyway in sec school.i wasnt reli into class stuffs i guess.
i was more of ahsjab and ahscouncil.
however now.i feel so much closer to my classmates.
but well my class isnt that great afterall i suppose.
becuz of some stupid stuffs.
we are like dissected into two groups.
yeah.how ironicc is that.
people see us how BONDED we are.
but thats crapp crapp crapp.
oh well maybe in JC.
the more "in" thing is to have a partner.
well i guess thats sufficient.
nobody needs friends to be around.
yeah.like even in big groups.
just stick on to your partner.
holding hands.hugging here.whispering here and there.
or maybe even kiss.
yeah.jus need that someone around is enough.
wad rubbish am i talking about.
hahah.but yeah.luckily my sec sch life is NOT like that.
im thankful for what GOD has shown me now.
so that i can be grateful
and appreciate things i hav in e past.
yeah yeah.
and i HATE those hyprocrites.
those that in front say okok.
in e end behind say all e bad things.
and influencing the rest in a bad way.
it appears that you wan to unite the 2 groups.
but instead u are e one splitting them even further!!!
ahhh!freaking arsholes!
oh WELL.
forget it.what a post i am having.LOL

2006-10-25T00:01:00.000+08:00

well to all who really feel like your world is dark.
you feel like u have no direction in yur life.
remember to have faith people.
leave it all in the hands of GOD.
he will surely bring you through it.
pray hard people. : )

2006-10-18T23:41:00.000+08:00

hmm.finally everything is over.
got back results and stuff.
well i must say i am contented with
wad i have achieved.
yupps.shld be can promote bah : )
yupps.i really would like to thank
GOD for everything he gave to me
he guided me throughout the examinations
and even thru the process of getting
the results back.
yeah.i love you GOD : )
to those who is going thru your worse
patch of lives
i pray for you and do not worry
if GOD brings you to it
he will bring you thru it : )
jiayous everyone
take care
have FAITH : )

2006-10-16T00:19:00.000+08:00

today is 16oct.
its e first day of getting results back!
well.general paper followed by math.
i dunch noe wad to expect suddenly.
i feel so nervous and worried.
this may be a turning point in my life.
i know theres no use being worried.
well tads life i guess.
i just hope GOD will bring me thru
no matter wad happens.
and deres training tmr man.
feeling excited haha.
hopefully i can improve
and move on to the next level.
yupps.dun be discouraged xavier
come on gO gO gO!
lol.yeah.i will strive hard.
i will not be laid back anymore.
COME ON!!
promotions!!
tennis!!
LOL

have faith
i leave it all in your hands LORD

2006-10-07T02:15:00.000+08:00

hmm.finally promos have ended.
well.im glad im able to smile each time
i come out from e exam venues.
though it may not signify tad i may score well
and not retain.
the word retain is instilling so much fear in
our school.
well at least to me.
i struggled to study.
i struggled in having faith.
i struggled to strive on and not give up.
well im so physically and mentally tired out
by this exam.
sounds kinda ridiculous.
but tad is e situation for me.
without constant prayers
to keep me going and have faith
without GOD's love and grace
i might have collapsed and gave up
anytime before or even during the promos
but he gave me faith and strength to move on.
well i thank you GOD.
at least even if i retain.
i know i have tried hard alr.
after exams there is also many things to be done.
but at least i dun have to go thru
so much stress and pressure.
i always fail under pressure.
but at least becuz of promos
i guess i am starting to adapt to it
well i believe that stress is something
inevitable in our daily lives.
yup and deres tennis still.
hmm.not too sure how im gonna do it.
but somehow i have to : )
life can be so tiring at times
obstacles after obstacles
life is about getting past all these obstacle
and when u fall
you endure thru the process of standing up
and after u stand up
you got to fall again
this vicious cycle goes on and on
this post seems a little too draggy and long
i shall put a full stop here.
may the faith in me pass on to those
who are having their O-levels and A-levels.
all e best people
favourite and no.1 : )

-i just dun love you no more : )

2006-09-23T20:59:00.000+08:00

hmm.feeling alittle unmotivated
cuming here to release stress while
gonna work very hard for these 2 weeks
if i dun wan to retain
hmm.well GOD i leave it all in your hands now : )
hmm.theres a new person now.
haha.tads a secret.
think kinda long wun see this stranger.
well.theres nothing we can do much about this.
hmm.study hard people : )
no more no.2 ! haha =x

2006-09-09T12:58:00.000+08:00

oohh.just return from overnight studying.
haha.but guess din not study hard enough.
hmm.gotta study real HARD alr.
no more time wasting and slacking alr.
but yesterday was pretty fun hmm.
happening i guess haha
and i suddenly feel that
to achieve something
u really got to work hard and most imptly passion
yups.the drive and fire u need to have
in order to succeed
yeah.u will never fail to succeed
of course failures will be along the way
but u will reach the end point no matter how
yup have faith : )

i love studying.i love tennis.
yeah i found my no.2 haha : )

2006-08-14T23:06:00.000+08:00

sometimes life is reli tough
to be at bottoms of both pits
can reli be so demoralising
i mean when one reli tries his best
he reli hopes to see wad has been done
to be paid off
maybe it jus isnt the time yet?
but somehow the boy is beginning to lose hope
inside a dark tunnel
there isnt even a ray of light
to signify a ray of hope
when one reli goes through sort of humiliation
and u jus have to endure it thru
maybe the end result doesnt matter anymore
well to be prepared for future lives when we enter
into the society?
yup.when u aint good.u are down.no one gonna pity.
u gotta pick yurself up
and the biggest problem here
is that pressure and burden are building up
its getting alittle too heavy on one's shoulders
yeah.perhaps
there will be an answer soon.
i certainly hope it will cum soon for the boy
if not i reli dun noe how is he gonna get thru
this critical stage of his life
yup have faith boy
GOD has plans for you : )

it is reli not easy walking down this road
somehow encouragement along the way may helps
to lighten one's mood and makes one
feel really heartwarming : )
i love GOD : )

2006-08-05T20:25:00.000+08:00

Believe in yourself.
Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You'll make it through.
this song is by joey mcIntyre
all right man.if you listen to this song
u will have more faith in yurself : )
ppl mug hard for olevels and promos and alevels!

2006-08-04T01:49:00.000+08:00

I read a note my grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat
and he showed it once to me
He said," Boy you might not understand,
but a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy din like me noone,
but I loved your grandma so
We had this crazy plan to meet,
and run away together
Get married in the first town
we come to and live forever
But nailed to the tree
where we supposed to meet instead
i found this letter
and this is what it said
*If you get ther before I do,
don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores all through,
I don't know how long I'll be
But i'm not gonna let you down,
Darling wait and see
But between now and then
till I see you again
I'll be loving you..love me
I read those words just hours
before my grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church
where me and grandpa stopped to pray
I know
I never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said those words to her
His eyes filled up with tears
*And between now and then
till I see you again
I'll be loving you... love me

hmm.life is getting tougher each day.
sometimes when i wonder
why are we working so hard for?
nevertheless life still goes on
back to sleep : )

+have faith+

2006-07-07T00:33:00.000+08:00

oohh.how fast.the holidays are long over.
midyrs results are back.
wow.wonderful.din noe what i was thinking of.
during the exams period.
now that i have got to face e music.
well.another lesson learnt : )
no matter what had happened.
i carn change it.so i reli got to move on.
hmm.thinking on how i can reli improve.
to get myself promoted at e end of e year.
yeah.try my very best.study hard.study smart.
and realise time is running out.
got to start studying already.
there are really so many things to do.
seems like i am running all e time.
i am running out of breadth.
needs some space and rest.
well.and the battle hasn't really started?
hahaha.i dunno why did i choose this path.
but nahh.tads not e point.
yup.i can do it.i muz do it.
yup.gambete to myself and everybody else.
and theres tennis still.
i got so much more to learn and work hard on.
kinda useless arh.
sometimes its just a title.
not as if i am really as good as it sounds.
i noe i am not.
just need to vent out everything.
have faith xavier.
when he brings you to it.
he will bring you thru it.
i noe its true.because i have faith : )

have faith--

2006-05-01T21:12:00.000+08:00

it has been a long time since i last blogged : )
it has been 5 months in jC
hmm i thought i had moved on well
i thought i had adapted well
actualli its not tad bad larh
but it made me realise something
that the best phase of my life till now
is at anglican high
though i always tell ppl tad how wonderful ahs is
and tad how fortunate i am to be in ahs
but i noe they dun believe me
simply becuz they are not me : )
the four years there is reli amazing
i mean the ppl in ahs are all wonderful ppl
i miss the times spent there
yup.but still life goes on : )
in mjc the some of the ppl are wonderful
but there isnt a sense of attachment.serious.
i thot i had it.but now i finally realise
it wasnt as strong as i thot it would be
yupp.thats it.
i have no passion.
yup.guilty but what to do?
yeah.life in jC can be so tough
tiring.tiring.tiring.
look forward to every weekends
and every holidays

AHS rocks : )
-have faith-

2006-04-02T15:36:00.000+08:00

Angels Brought Me Here Lyrics

[Verse 1]
It's been a long and winding journey,
but i'm finally here tonight
Picking up the pieces,
walking back into the light
Into the sunset of your glory,
where my heart and future lies
There's nothing like that feeling,
when i look into your eyes...
[Bridge]
My dreams came true,
when i found you
I found you, my miracle...
[Chorus]
If you could see, what i see,
that you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel,
the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear,
that angels brought me here...
[Verse 2]
Standing here before you,
feels like i've been born again
Every breath is your love,
every heartbeat speaks your name...
[Bridge 2]
My dreams came true,
right here in front of you
My miracle...
[Chorus]
If you could see, what i see,
you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel,
the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear,
that angels brought me here...
[Bridge 3]
Brought me here to be with you,
I'll be forever grateful (oh forever Faithful)
My dreams came true
When I found you
My miracle...
[Chorus]
If you could see, what i see,
you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel, the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear,
that angels brought me here...
Yes they brought me here...
If you could feel, the tenderness i feel...
You would know, it would be clear,
that angels brought me here...

nice song here : )
i need to be a good boy!

-have faith-

2006-03-11T15:16:00.000+08:00

wow.finally the orientation is over!
so tiring.but fun bah.
now my voice so sexy
i got wad i wanted man!
hah i think i reli tone down alot
and its reli alot alot man
as compared to anglican high daes
is it a wrong thing?
i dunch noe man
but i jus doesnt like the feeling
of fighting to like u noe
nahh nvms larh
just be myself and do wad i like rite?
studies.i lagged so much man!!
i mean i gotta catch up during this
march holidaes liao le yupp
and tennis hor
i disappointed with me performance
during the trials on wednesdae leh
but the teacher said sumthing to me
i dunch noe if its true anot
hai hai hai
how how how
i am worrying but i noe it doesnt going
to help in anything
but i jus carn help it
nvms
studies.tennis.all e wae : )

have faith : )

2006-02-28T21:29:00.000+08:00

it has been so long since i last blogg
hmm life seems so deadd now
hah
feel so slack.tired.sicked
i reli reli wanna do well in tennis
u noe to reli fight my place to be selected
it seems e harder i try
the lousier i got seriously
i jus dunch noe how to carry on from here
at first everyone thot i was hmm not bad got potential
but now i start to get worse
and i became like someone who doesnt even noe e basics
haii.losing my confidence.motivation.
its like i dunch noe how to do it
i feel lost and down but somehow i am still hanging on
just hope tad somedae
things will get better somehow
yeah.i mean wad can i reli do right.
maybe i jus dun have wad it takes
yeah.started late.no coaching.and everything is on my own.
wow.tads e difficult thing man.but nvms.
todae i just went to OGL meeting.
i have been poning so much
and tad todaes session makes me feel guilty
makes me determined to work hard
to learn all e cheers and dances
and to do my best for vega hah
yeah.i think i am doing e right thing
dunch noe why did i slack OGL so much
reli regretted
done wrong to those who worked hard
yeah.i am reli sorry
actually i think i may have seemed like i dun care
or wadever larh but just wan those ppl
who stood by me when i am in trouble or wad
big thanx to u all though i may seem tad i dun bother
but it matters to me alot.i jus keep it in my heart for myself to noe
yeah.maybe tads me.
so maybe its my weakness
i try my best to correct it : )
haha
after march holidaes
i am working hard le man : )
i want to ace my a levels haha
watch me
as i am strugglin thru this tough period
GOD is with me
HE is sufffering with me
my motivation.faith.stength.
as long as i try my best
yupp
he will guide me thru tennis and studies
and of cuz frenship.family too : )
jiayous to xavier.reivax. : )

i am always available at 96836709 : ) call me or sms me when u have nothing to do haha
just crapping.yuppx
have faith people
all problems arised with solutions
its onli a matter of time

2006-02-15T21:55:00.000+08:00

it has been a long time i guess
sometimes i wonderr
what is reli important in life
hmmm
feel like saying sumthings but just
carn bring myself to say
thank to you who is e onli person
who reli understand how i am feeling
haha too bad you are going poly though u got
like better than me.wad a move man.
all e best bahx : )
tired.drained out.
just feel so slack nowadays.
how i wish i cld take a break
from the world.
tired of life at the moment
nvms.
just realise how cruel reality can be
it just hurts me
nahh
i have learnt a lesson
i will definitely not follow
in these ppl footsteps
yupp

have faith
tennis rocks : )

2006-02-07T22:45:00.000+08:00

pretty boy M2M : )

I lie awake at night
See things in black and white
I've only got you inside my mind
You know you have made me blind
I lie awake and pray
That you will look my way
I have all this longing in my heart
I knew it right from the start
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you
I used to write your name
And put it in a frame
And sometime I think I hear you call
Right from my bedroom wall
You stay a little while
And touch me with your smile
And what can I say to make you mine
To reach out for you in time
Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you
BRIDGE
Oh pretty boy Say you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you

tennis rocks : )
have faith : )

2006-02-01T00:14:00.000+08:00

its alr been so long
hmm
i thought tad things have changed
after many things tad have happened
but somehow things
went back to normal
good thing or bad thing?
and something different has appeared in my life
good thing or bad thing?
confusing man
i dunno wad i reli wan
even i noe its wrong to do so
i still wanna do it
i will still do it
haiii
perhaps one dae
i will reli noe wan i reli wan

have faith

2005-12-23T02:34:00.000+08:00

i love God
for everything tad he gave me
frens.family.his love.
it was the day when i accepted his love
and started to love him back
it was a new start for me
the biggest moment of my life
it changed me
i reli wanna thank you
for bringing me happie memories
yeah.i am serious.
i dun blame you or wad.
but just be happy.
such things r common
its no big deal
when it cannot work out
means cannot
theres no why or wad
no right or wrong too
i rather u noe
just normal larh
no strings attached
like tad hui betterr
its not up to me to expect
so i jus do wad i wan to do
i dun like e feeling of being taken for granted
i am sorrie
i am being practical here
i mean nobody likes this feeling yeah?
so just big thanx to you
reli reli.i am serious.
everything is going to be finee : )
thankew God for you too
all e best : )
may we be happie even though
things have changed slightly
good nitex : )

2005-12-04T15:28:00.000+08:00

maybe i am just like his case
i have failed
ehh.yupp
maybe i juz refuse to
face the truth
its reli cruell u noe
i mean most people
will choose to delude
themselves and make themselves
feel better u noe
trying to find excuses
for every action or wadeverr
holding on to small little things
which actually meant nothing
tads me laa : )
i will now choose not to escape
becuz i dun wish to be a coward
i wan to face it
as long as u choose to face it
you can find the solution
yeah.tads my faith now : )
be truthful to myself
and oso everyone arnd me
but no matter wad happens
nothing will ever change : )

even if the heart is broken
the heart will still continue beating : )

+have faith+

2005-12-04T13:03:00.000+08:00

i gonna have one
whole week
to reli think bout many
things tad i wanna think
i hope GOD can give me
some directions
somehow i realise
i dunno wad i shld do now
u noe.its sucha suckyy feeling
u wan to do this
but u dunno if u shld do this
and when u tried yur best
to reli try to make someone
reli understandd
but somehow they juz
fake as though dey dunno anything
wowow.poorr me : )
maybe when one dae
i am reli reli tired
i will not walk down
this road anymore
theres no faith in this
stretch of road anymore
i've been trying the best
to look for faith
taking initiative time and time
but end up being turned awae

-i thought i heard you say tad
you will be dere for me always-
tads wad i thought
so it maybe wrong : )
i hope i did not hear wrongly : )

have faith in wad you do
you make it thru : )

2005-12-03T17:39:00.000+08:00

long time since i last blogg arr
today and tmr i muz spend
quality time wth myself
cuz next week my schedule is full : )
lol.gotta camp from 5th-9th
lol.gotta holiday from 9th-11th
nicee week i am gonna have mann
it will be tiring too oso
hope to enjoy the times dere
now i am thinking againn
bout many many things
i feel troubled
reli reli troubled arrr
but somehow i wan You
to know how terrible
i am feeling right now
i noe i shld not say or do
but it is reli miserable
to keep things
haizzzz
how how how
theres no conclusion again
never mindd : )

have faith in wad you do
you make it thru : )

2005-11-17T01:07:00.000+08:00

now its 1.08 am
gonna have my amath paper 2
in like 6 and half hours later
i muz be crazy to be blogging now
but carn help it
i jus feel like doing so
sumtimes its jus
so hard to reli do
wad u have decided
i mean i reli tried to
but somehow
its not tad easy
i am gonna go back
on my decision again?
no no no
i carn let history repeat itself
faith faith faith faith
i shall have You in my mind
to make myself keep to
the promise i made to myself : )

-it hurts alot now-
-but if it doesnt hurt now,it will hurt even more in e future-

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-11-08T00:55:00.000+08:00

i feel exctied bout the first day of olevels.
yeah.finally gone.
i din reli do well i guess for SS?
emath was barely okie.
but will still continue with
this positive attitude of mine
and face this exam
feel excited and confident
instead of worried
maybe this time i abit more
confident thus
i feel slightly insecure
contradicting : )
sumthings are just so hard
to do
i am still trying hard
but guess it reli takes time
i hope i wun have e same reaction
anymore and ever again
am i sinking in
or am i floating up?
wowow
blogging cuz i need to
relax alittle
hopefully i can pass the test
of geog and bio
i hope i can do it : )
after tad tiring dae of bio and geog
next dae is emath 2 and lit
may GOD give me e strength
to carry on : )
no matter wad
these memories will
always be in my mind
till the day i die
i am sorry : )

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-10-31T22:26:00.000+08:00

it will not
and never happen
cuz its a fact
even if things reli go
e wae i want it
can i reli have it?
no no no
either/or
both give me e same
answer.yupp
so i am trying hard
to persevere
may HE give me
e faith and belief : )
all e best to you though : )

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-10-24T22:35:00.000+08:00

tmr is 25/10/05
lollol
its chem practical le
i muz jiayou : )
praying tad i can identify all the
unknown gases successfully
all e best : )
recollection of memories
i jus realise so many incidents happen
its all becuz of me : (
if i dun feel tad wae
all these things will not have happen
but on e other hand
i reli tried to control
but its not within my means
so it seems like in front of me
i onli have one choice now
which is damn heartbreaking
haiyoh.i dun wish to take this path lehh
but den i have to
tads e onli choice
so i pray hard
GOD to give me e strength
and guide me thru this path
and then when this path ends
everything will be fine again : )
i reli wanna do it
nothing gonna stop me now
becuz i dun wan to do e wrong thing
AGAIN
and get say by ppl
dat i am not acting like
wad i shld act
u noe.tad feeling hurts the most
lollol
but well its true larh
i onli have myself to blame
becuz i cld have and shld have
controlled
but my actions showed it all
i'm sorry : )

-have faith and you will have e power-
i muz have done sumthing wrong to you
in my previous life
tads why i am getting punished
since there is effect
dere muz be cause : )
so i am hoping in e next life
we can be wad we wanna be : )

2005-10-16T14:44:00.000+08:00

its such a nicee timee to blog
here i am in my own roomm
having sum quiet and quality time
with myself
now its raining oncee moree
i feel so warm and calm at heart
however it still makes me think
i choose my own path
and make my own decisions
even till now
i have never regretted at all
certain things happen
becuz it has to happen
everything is in His plans
i am happie
to be able to have certain
things in my life for
a period of time
at least i had it before
but somehow
things tad u have
will leave u one day
u gotta accept it right?
u lose some things
but in this process
u gain something
yeah
i am looking forward to after olevels
where i am gonna
be the hottest boy in town
hahahaha
sounds exciting : )
but i still have to study
two more days bio pracc le
yeah
i am looking forward to bio prac
cuz got happening thing : )
i am looking forward to chem prac
too!!! : )

-have faith and you will have e power-
[all my life i've waited - this is true]

2005-10-13T14:09:00.000+08:00

18 days to olevels
oh my gosh
i abit scared
haha
but i am still slacking
wonderful
i am like trying hard to study laa
but i carn
i need motivation
wadda move
haha
and i think
carefully liao le!!!
wad i aimed to do
yeah
hopefully i can do it laa hor?
den i'll be happy
cuz i will be doing the right thing
yeah
i noe GOD will guide me along the wae
hahaha
as i pray pray pray
GOD has answered my prayers
i am having faith
in everything i do : )
come on let do it people : )

have faith and you will have e power-

2005-10-12T22:09:00.000+08:00

i dun wish to bluff myself anymore
i dun wan to live in
a world of fantasies and hope
its upsetting
i am trying hard to accept
the truth and reality
i noe i will do it one dae
so i reli hope
GOD u can give me
e strength and faith
to forget wad i should forget
i reli need YOU
i reli find it stupid
tad i am hoping
fer something
ridiculous
though i always say
its impossible
but deep in my heart
i am wishing it to happen
i dun wish to bluff myself
ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN
i hope i can change my mindset
like wad she say
but fer this period i carn
i sincerely hope
someone can take a stick
and hit it hard on my head
and make me lose my memories
so tad i can start everything afresh
or maybe a car might knock me down
and then i'll be in coma
and by the time i wake up
i wun even noe who i am
how nice and sweet
tad will reli be : )
at least i wun be
thinking and doing the wrong thing now
i dun wan to think in this wae
please change me
forgive me
i am reli sorrie
just let me go
i dun wan it anymore
i wanna give it up
i noe it is a right decision
come on man

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-10-11T21:54:00.000+08:00

people wan walk faster
faster take bus
so can faster reach home
can study
dun wanna waste time
in e end
people can go watch movie
how exciting : )
walk-10 minutes
movie-2 hours
hahahaha
how funnie is tad?
i dunno larh
many times
i dunno wad i can do
she asked me to keep having
faith and believe
tad everythings gonna be okie
i am reli trying hard to
i am reli
but people dun understand
ooohhh
i am too hot too handle
hahaha
so i shall cool myself
so i can be easier to handle
sumtimes i wonder
why am i thinking so much
but well
its not up to me
to control isnt it?
but sum things i have myself
to blame
when i knew it was a mistake
from e start
yet i still continued
so i deserved
everything
its my fault : )
lollol
and there is a grasscourt tennis tournament
held in spore in 2007
how exciting
i wanna enter this tournament !! : )

i still do not have
the courage
i am sorrie : )
-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-10-09T17:07:00.000+08:00

sumtimes
dere are things
u cant do and shld not do
but u juz carn control
u still did the wrong thing
i reli tried to convince myself
tad i shld not allow myself to be
in this pathetic situation
i cannot be in this situation
but how does it help?
i still did it
i feel so upset at times
becuz i dunno
how am i feeling
no one can help me i guess
except myself
but i myself carn help myself
haiiiii
i reli wish
i reli wish
for sumthing tad
is unreachable
i reli missed
a period of time
only when i lost it
then i learn how to treasure
if wad i think
isnt wad u think
den why did so many incidents
show tad u do : )
how how how
sumtimes i reli wish tad
sumone can help me
and save me
from all these misery
lol
say until like waddd like tadd
but nvm
i juz wanna talk sum crap
cuz i feel so sianx
slacking my life awae : )

-have faith and u will have e power-

tmr

2005-10-06T20:58:00.000+08:00

tmr is the last dae of school le
yupps
and my prelims results
L1R5 is 17 : )
of cuz is baddd
but i am happie alr
becuz u reap wad u sow
i guess i have gotten
more than wad i put in bahx
i will continue to work hardd
and do my parents proud
and of cuz to prove to myself
tad i am capable of producing
good results de
all this while
despite me poor results
i still believe in myself
tad at the end of this road
i will be a winner
yeah so i am gonna prove
it to myself
i am not wrong
hahaha
i am aiming fer 6 points : )
yeah.6A1s
of cuz not easy
but u never try
how will u noe u cant make it?
so i am gonna pay the price
and win this racee
yupps
i am not afraid to say
for these two years
my best L1R5 cums from my prelims
it is 17 : )
so its gonna be a huge jump mann
but i dun care
i am gonna work hardd
and do it : )
yeah
study hardd and study smarrtt
and pray and pray and pray
i will reach my ultimate goal : )
jiayous to x-xavier
hahaha
jiayou jiayou : )

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-10-05T21:39:00.000+08:00

actualli i am a simple boy
who is easily contented
hahaha
yeah
just like in a frenship
being happie is e most impt thing
i am happy all e time
i guess
i feel e life now
is super boring
carn get myself motivated
to study
and cannot plae
so everyday is slack
ppl start le
i still like tad
how to get good grades
somemore my results not good too
haiiiii
and always go think
of the unimpt thing
luckily juz fer a short preiod of time
i will listen
to GOD
and do wad he wans me to
in this situation
cuz i noe
he loves me
and will lead me to e
right path
i have faith : )
wad goes arnd cum arnd
wad i'm feeling
is wad some ppl are feeling becuz of my actions
i'm sorrie
i cannot control : )

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-10-03T23:17:00.000+08:00

oohh i am back again : )
haha
decided tad i shld keep
everything the same
just like certain things
will always remain the same
nothing has changed
LOL LOL
yeah.my blog song
changed again
becuz this is my favourite song
it means so much to me
becuz dere can onli be one reason
reminds me of someone
all e time.yeah
sumtimes sad
sumtimes happy
but i like the feeling still
haiiii
i cld not get back my 6230
dere is one picture
which is so impt
i cld not get it back
i m so angry with myself
why why
o levels cuming soon
lets trump it people : )
haha
bridge is a fun game
continue people
all e wae : )
hahaha
if i love you
even if u dun love me
i would choose not to leave you
becuz u will lose a person who loves you
and i wwill lose a person i love
you will suffer a greater loss rite?
nice theory people?
sumthing to ponder bout again : )

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-09-30T01:01:00.000+08:00

harlo people : )
i have moved
to a new world
a new beginning : )
haha
this blog is no longer in used
but i'll keep it
fer collection of memories : )
bye people : )
but please tag still
cuz i will still blog
becuz i have to update
for you people : )
rock on
keep my tagboard alive ah : )

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-09-28T15:21:00.000+08:00

its going to rain real soon
i feel hurt yet angry
hurt becuz i feel like
i am jus nobody
angry at myself
for being angry at you
precisely!
why am i angry?
i think i noe why
but its juz yur attitude puts me off
i dunch noe how to react to it
but dere's no point laa
becuz i alr have
a conclusion le
so theres no need for me
to do anything or wadd
yeah
i juz hope i can
do wad it is best for me
nvm.nvm
jiayous dearr
i'll be supporting you : )
tk care

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-09-27T22:04:00.000+08:00

oohh
just got back prelims results
wads considered good or bad
depends on the way u look at it
it reli depends on yur attitude
how contented are you bahs
its not the end
there is still o levels
which is the most important exam
yeah
i hope my dearest dearr is coping well with everything : )
haha
sumtimes i reli wonder
wad i wan
i reli dunno
i am reli confused
even till now
nothing has changed
nahh.nvm
nobody knows anyway : )

-have faith and you will have e power-
dearr :
just do wad u think is right
i hope wad i have said
make some sense too
jiayou bahx
i will always support you : )

2005-09-25T15:32:00.000+08:00

well sumthings are reli meant to be
i wrote a super long entry
in e end i hit the shift key
i went back the previous page
everythings gone : )
wadda move
it goes to show i shldnt have wrote tad entry
hahaha
aniwae i realise
sum of my previous entries
are reli childish and unrealistic
its reli larh
i am sorry if i have wrote anything
tad is like badd or wadever
i have no intention at all
i juz wan post wad i reli feel?
yepp
i noe and i reli believe
tad i jus carn make things happen
its juz not within my control
haish
so i learn to be contented
with things i have
instead of fighting for things tad
will never be mine : )
i have my dearest dear with me
always there and get terrorised by me right? : )
you will support me hor?
hopefully larh
and i have kingshaw too
who has been with me for two years 2 days
rmb 23rd sep? : )
hahaha
and helena too!
my best talking partner while studying
talking cock is our talent : )
yeah.off to sleep again

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-09-25T00:35:00.000+08:00

todae was a fun day
nothing special but
its juz happie lorh
haha
todae i am gonna rest
cuz these few daes too hiong liao
muz relax a while
anyway i teach my dearest person
how to put the bedsheet into the bed
and my dearest person doesnt even noe
how to wash plates
just like a small little kid
muz undergo further training
lollol
okie.enough said
going to sleep soon le
and sumtimes
i reli wonder why i think so much
its better not to think
and just avoid avoid and avoid
yeah.come on : )
haha.i love this stupid person
who always say i am terrorising
when i am like so nicee?
helping u put bedsheet into yur bed
and pillow case into yur pillow?
haha : )
good night people : )

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-09-23T12:11:00.000+08:00

verse 1
saying i love you,
is not the words,
i want to hear from you,
it's not that I want you,
not to say but if you only knew,
how easy,
it would be to show me how you feel,
more than words
is all you have to do
to make it real
then you wouldn't have to say,
tad you love me,
cuz i'd already know,

verse2
what would you do,
if my heart was torn in two,
more than words to show you feel,
tad yur love for me is real,
what would you say,
if I took those words away,
then you couldn't make things new,
just by saying I love you

verse 3
it's more than words,
it's more than what you say,
its the things tad you do,
oh yeah,
it's more than words,
it's more than what you say,
it's the things tad you do,
oh yeah,
now that I've tried to,
talk to you and make you understand,
all you have to do,
is close your eyes,
and just reach out your hands,
and touch me,
hold me close don't ever let me go,
more than words,
is all I ever needed you to show,
then you wouldn't have to say,
that you love me,
cuz I'd already know,

verse 2 (repeat)

2005-09-22T18:37:00.000+08:00

wow.its has been a long time since my last entry le lehh
haha.it goes to show i have discipline during the prelims
i hope i have made it this time : )
though its studying
i still manage to find joy in wad do
esp when Roland Garros is sucha great game u can ever plae
haha.i simple love it loads
i dunch know why
but it seems tad for i hav been happie
for this long period of time
i guess its becuz i am contented bahx
tad the most impt thing
change yur attitude
and u will be happy person too : )
but sumtimes u just carn help it
when u think too much
i guess i am a normal person too
yeah.so at times i make mistakes
which i dun even noe how to rectify
i reli tried my best
i guess everything needs time : )
so i am waiting waiting for tad dae to cum
when the bus service no.1 either no longer in service
or it will always be in service
haha.wad crap arh
but tads life
tk care people : )

-have faith and you will have e power-
-wad will faith be without power?-

2005-09-03T18:00:00.000+08:00

there is something
which i felt tad u shld noe
but on e other hand
i felt tad u shldn't noe
wad a struggle it has been
for me
have been keeping in my heart
fer sucha long time
but i promised myself
i will not say it out fer sure : )
wad crap is tad?
haha
i have been trying
to study study study
but it seems like i carn concentrate
my mind is filled with other stuffs
sianx.sianx.sianx.sianx.

-quote-
it hurts so much to love u e wae i do
then look at u and realise how much u dun care

this is so sadd so sadd
if you r in this situation
i hope u can get yurself out of it soon
cuz it reli hurts alot i guess : )

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-08-31T21:38:00.000+08:00

tmr have to wake up
very very early
jus like going to school
wadda move man
lollol
todae was very sianx dae
sleep alot and slack
12 days to prelims
i am like not feeling
e heat and pressure
haiiiii
i need discipline
jiayous jiayous : )
haha
aniwae
i've got a new thinking
again
ta kai xin jiu hao
quoted by a person
who is always late by an hour
yeppp
i decided alr
being contented is most impt

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-08-30T20:57:00.000+08:00

wadda move
i think dere is sumthing wrong with me again
haishhh
i dunno wads going on
in my mind now
just simply hate e feeling
can it just go awaw
simply hindering me
i just cannot study
seems like i asked for it?
i shldnt have asked
i shld have just disappeared
why did i ask?
wad done carn be undone
shall not be stupid anymore
get myself in such a pathetic state
and i simply carn do anything

-have faith and you will have e power-
wo tao yan ni
dan wo gen tao yan wo zi ji

2005-08-29T22:54:00.000+08:00

wow.i never been so tired before
the moment i cum back at arnd 6
i went to sleep a while
den i suddenly wake up
to go and bathe at 630
then sleep all e wae till now mann : )
now i feel so drowsy and tired still
aniwae nothing much to study
tml is prelim chem prac alr
jiayous everyone
and i am off to sleep AGAIN : )
wadda sleeping dae
i love it : )

-have faith and u will have e power-
i am starting to feel tad u are a fu qian de ren
lollol.tads quite sadd

2005-08-27T21:15:00.000+08:00

wad a yesterdae
a new experience
finally i found ppl who share
the same thoughts as me
about GOD
lollol
tads great mann : )
hmm
there r so many different kinds of people
some ppl r analyser
some ppl r very superficial
hahaha
yesterdae had so many new thoughts
about many many things
it was more of studying
i reli enjoyed it seriously
maybe in this frenship
there is no pressure or what
everything is so relaxing
and progressing at a smoothing pace
we are all enjoying the frenship btw us
tads good yarh?
hopefully things will turn out well
not like past
and most imptly we are all softcore ppl
hahaha
contented with everything in life now : )

Prelims*
English
A-math
E-math
Chemistry
Combined Humanities
Chinese
Geography
H.Chinese
Biology

what will e L1R5 be?
-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-08-25T22:33:00.000+08:00

todae was prelims biology practical
lollol.was quite jin zhang
cuz din noe wad to expect
yepp.but in e end wasnt tad bad though
haha.maybe my expectations r low bahx
sometimes actions speak louder than words
i can feel it.thanx : )
i hate teachers who just love bad-mouthing students
i mean if a teacher reli wans u to do well
they will scold you
but u can feel tad they r trying to push you
but some are reli NOT!
nvmnvm
i will do my best to repay those kind teachers
who put their efforts in pushing me
and prove to those teachers
who badmouth me for the sake of badmouthing
thank mr chua : )
i will work harder : )
all e wae people
come on lets do it together : )
muz do well for QA test tmr
and chem prac on tues too!!!

-have faith and you will have e power-
colourful always =D

2005-08-22T15:02:00.000+08:00

And all the time I act so brave
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so : )

certain things jus hurt you
even if u tried yur best to avoid it
but i shall not question
cuz i noe these are e things tad
make me grow stronger : )

i am still learning
the art of letting go
becuz i noe if it meant to be mine
it will return in time : )

people.listen to heaven knows by price : )
and spot the lyrics tad is in my this entry
haha.wadda move man
okayy.going off to study liao le
i'mlovingit : ) McDonald is good
sigining off.....

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-08-19T23:38:00.000+08:00

no matter what
i will still support junyang
he is the one who sings my previous blog song
tittled ' hai shi peng you '
haha
he rocks totally
superstar seems to be very kuku-ed
everytime the good ones are kicked out
haishhh
i feel sad for junyang
he is the best yet he is out :(
nvmnvm
todae geog mock exam was the best one
haha
do 3 human 1 physical
finish till arnd 20 mins like tad
was e first one to leave the class
so pro man
haha
nvm lah.mock exam onli
muz jiayous fer prelimsss
todae feel very tired
feel drowsy
gonna sleep real soon : )
good nitex

2005-08-18T19:45:00.000+08:00

hey hey tml is geog mock exam liao le!!
jiayous people all e way man : )
anyway todae is super slack day
feel very sianx oso
after school went canteen to eat as usual
haha
then later went to changi airport and ate ice cream
its onli four bucks lah!
very worth it
muz go dere more often
lollol
yepp.muz mug hard for geog oso : )
and kuku-ed
i oso wan my name on a paper
then i can scanned into my computer
but i do it differently from other ppl
i put it as my display pic
if not jiu wallpaper of my com oso can
haha
u shld noe who u are hor
take care people : )
prelims is drawing nearrrrr

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-08-15T19:45:00.000+08:00

wow.todae i just received my super belated bdae gift
from my beloved brother qi xiang ah
though it was super late i love it : )
having a bible is very good u noe?lol
carrying it arnd ppl think tad i'm holy
haha.so funny lah.but i reli love this gift alot alot : )
had my first intro or study during eng lesson
matthew was telling me how to read the bible
explaining to me some of the verses.cool ah : )
thanx matt fer his patience.yepp
today i was very high.never felt so high b4
keep singing songs from superstar one.lol
and i brought my winnie e pool cards to school!!!
lol
today seems like all good thing lehh
feeling very high
get back SS mock exam.i did not too bad lah
though wasnt marked,alot of good remarks.lol
then received my first bible as a gift from ppl
yepp
then after sch went to sumo house fer sum budget meal
3 dollars and u can eat till u full like siao
haha
go there more ppl.its good ! : )
tads all bahx
but let me tell u all
cos 70 = -cos110
please rmb it ok ppl!!
tmr will be useful fer yur trigo test : )
jiayous and praise the lord!

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-08-14T21:49:00.000+08:00

hey hey.today is a happy entry.yeah.
its like so long never blog happy stuff arh
today was super and happening day larh
went MAC fer lunch.ate a nice strawberry sundae
sum ppl v.nice.help me buy.lol
then was deciding where to study
linkway?mintoons?
lol.in e end went one round and back to me house
wad a move larh
today study quite alot actually
so it was good and fruitful ah
muz have more this kind of conducive sessions
whereby keep extenging the study time
pushing back e break time
haha
tads all : )
learn to cherish what and who we have now

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-08-13T10:37:00.000+08:00

actualli todae got nothing much to blog
but just feel like blogging
haha
30 more days to prelims
i muz jiayou le
lol
one day i will go to corner stone
to fufil my promise to matthew and qi xiang
haha
sumtimes i reli think i have alot of weaknesses
in my character
nobody is perfect
i think no one has the right to judge anyone
and to tell them to change or whatever
but i am more than willing to hear from my loved ones
telling me about my weaknesses
so tad i can improve : )
yepp
too emotional? not me anymore
over-sensitive? tads e past
when you go through different stages in life
ur character is altered by the events tad have happened
i think these events made me realise
many many things

why is there no rain?lol
i hope u reli mean what you say : )

-one month more-
can we pass the test of time?

have faith and you will have e power*

2005-08-11T16:25:00.000+08:00

everything happens for a reason : )
ppl dun duan zhang qu yi from my blog man
i realise many things tad i shldn'd do,feel or say
nahhh.i have reli thought it over alr.
i need time and space now
just one month : )
sumthings are just meant to be
so i will learn how to deal with my emotions
insensitive.insensitive.insensitive.
lets just do it! all e way ppl : )

-have faith and you will have e power-

2005-08-10T18:42:00.000+08:00

deleted : )
dun worrie ser min
lol
wad i talk ydae was complete rubbish
i will not becum another person
i will always be a happy boy though : )

2005-08-06T19:02:00.000+08:00

todae was reli fun at NDP rehearsal mann.haha.i sub jasmin to be contingent IC.haha.at first was like joking then later in e end reli lehh.lol.get to experience a different feeling when i was standing in e marching contingent.oohh.haha.i am juz not capable enough bahx.yepp.i agree totally.not onli in ability wise,but maybe oso mentally wise too.i am still learning and making mistakes in areas especially learning how to cope mentally.sumtimes there is just too much to think about.i reli wish to say wad i reli feel yet i dun have e courage to.wadda move xavier.haish.i feel so lost and seem to have lost directions.

i missed the past when we faced our first obstacle
i can sense tad how much we meant to each other
but i'm glad tad at least i was onced so impt
i am reli contented : )
now i know i have lost e battle to someone else
i've gotta stand up and recover : )
give a smile and wish e both of u all e best : )
if u ever feel lonely
look to the sky
always noe dat i m somewhere
beneath the sky
wishing the best for u
[i reli meant it : )]

the onli way to conquer the fear of losing
is to learn the art of letting go : )
-starwars-

2005-08-04T23:21:00.000+08:00

today was council investiture.finally we have handed over.yupp.the feeling is not very nice of course definitely.i dunno how to describe.i saw some of the photos.i reli missed those days.where we spend time together.those small talks tad we shared in the night.yepp.but now i know it seems like we can never go back to the days alr.now e feeling and everything is reli different alr.becuz i noe where i stand.actions speak louder than words for sure : ) maybe i reli trying and slowly letting go alr.today when i ran to board 17.i did not even consider about it.i think wad i am doing now is right.unknowingly i am actually letting go liao.dunno is a good thing or bad thing.it reli depends.no longer feel the way i feel before.haha.dun think too much.when GOD arranged for 17 to come first and lettin me see it, it seems like it was a message from him.and when i board the bus, i saw a scene.which even makes me more determined tad GOD reli wans me to let go.i am just an obstacle to them.i know wad i have to do : )

first love rocks the most : )
baobei i am always here : )
fantastic four is somewhere i haven start to eight mann : )
P.U gang rocks : )
when r we forming the happening gang mann? : )
AA is cool mann : )
G.B and B.B r the best companies : )

2005-08-01T17:23:00.000+08:00

sumtimes i reli hate myself totally
i told myself i dunch wanna know alr
why am i still asking?
in e end, my heart feels upset and hurt
why am i doing this to myself?
i reli dunno wad i wan now
yupp.be happy for others
and learn to let go
be happy too : )
there is a knot in my heart
it seems tad it cant be untied
i need help seriously
i reli dun wanna feel this way anymore
when will be the day den?

2005-07-30T09:18:00.000+08:00

finally everything is done liao.i can now concentrate on my studies liao le.muz learn to have discipline and self-control.i realise i have changed alr.i am able to take things easy liao le.i am able to put unhappy things behind me faster liao.i dun think too much now oso.haha.i dun get angry,upset or whatever easily.finally i am able to gain a little control of my emotions liao.but not totally though.hopefully i can fully control my emotions bahx.haha.
motivation : results : )
i muz work towards my goal and i muz achieve it : )
i wanna be e next roland garros chamipon ! : )

2005-07-27T22:20:00.000+08:00

life is full of contradictions
i dun wan to noe bout this matter
becuz i noe if e ans is not wad i expect
i noe i will be upset
yet i still wan to noe
i reli dunno whether i wan to noe anot
haix
but i noe wad my heart is feeling
is definitely sumthing impossible
maybe my mind has a clearer picture
sumthing more realistic and more correct
but e battle is still going on
its fighting even harder now
i reli wish one of them will win
so tad everything will be over
but i noe
love is bout giving everything
as long as e person is happy
the rest doesnt matter : )

-life is always full of ups and downs-

2005-07-24T11:29:00.000+08:00

my blog song = simple plan's untitled : )

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight
And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

i will just sit behind the stand giving my fullest support to you
-nobody is perfect-

2005-07-23T11:13:00.000+08:00

things that seem fine may not necessarily be e case isn't it?
it's juz like wad u see may not be the truth actualli
sumtimes things r so complicated tad i felt tad i've lost my direction
there is a battle going on in me, who will emerge?
but i noe whoever wins, i will still be upset
so i am not taking any sides,i shall wait fer this battle in me to end
hopefully it will end soon
so tad i can recover earlier
i dunno wad GOD wans from me in this situation
i am reli confused
i dunch wanna go thru this stage
problem.problem.problem
it's always coming to me
i hope i am e onli one facing this problem : )

2005-07-16T14:51:00.000+08:00

[ it's never easy to meet someone who loves you as much as you love this person ]

i dunno wad i wan now
i dun wish to think anymore
i jus wan to run awae
i jus wan to escape from reality
i need time
i dunno how long it will take
maybe i will never haf e ans
i will let go fer this very moment
i noe i might nva get it back again
sumtimes u lose the ones tad u reli love
tad is life, isn't it?

when u make tad mistake
u muz be prepared
to face the consequences
so when u cause so much pain to my heart
the wound might never heal
den things can nva be like past anymore

i dunno where to put my faith in alr
even if i noe wads e problem
i may juz keep it down in my heart
where onli GOD & myself noe : )

2005-07-13T18:59:00.000+08:00

i got so carried awae tad i forgot to post bout AHSJAB national com.haha.of cuz it was a fruitful year.AA got 2nd runner up overall.runner up in first aid long case and footdrill : )
finally our squad proved that we are not useless afterall.we can win in competition as well.we can do a good job too.we need not rely on others or wad.we earned it all on our own.yes we did it with our own effort.of cuz special thanx to all who have trained us! : ) Esp Dian Fang, Wei Lun, Jie Qian, Ann Chi, Jarrod etC : ) without them,we will not be able to achieve this kind of results.though it not kinda of excellent.but at least it is still not bad?yupp.jiayou! : )
i love my team-Matthew/Jonathan/Wei Xuan/Yu Han : )

when i saw tad
i carn help but feel hurt
i love xiao lao shu : )

2005-07-12T20:53:00.000+08:00

have faith : )
have confidence : )
be disciplined : )

when u love someone.u need to convince the person
actions speak louder than words.u need not say it out.
but u have to show it out.if u reli love this person.
u will try yur best to convince this person tad u do.
loving dis person in yur heart.but not letting this person
knows.it goes to show tad u dun reli love thie person tad much
so when u love.show yur love.
if u're still nonchalant.sooner or later.this person will leave you
not becuz this person wans to.but this person has hold on fer so long
this person feels tired and wish to let go alr : )

maybe time will tell
but there isnt much time left alr
loving is bout giving out
tads y it can be so painful : )

2005-07-06T19:59:00.000+08:00

oohh.i am here to blog.haha.todae had a talk at aircon hall bout feelings.or rather anger.actualli to me.if sumone is angry with me.i will think its a blessing and be happy.it is becuz when sumone is angry with u,it means this person cares for you and this person treat u as sumone impt.imagine if this person doesnt mean anything to u,i dun think u will be angry lah.i think u will heck care bahx.i think this apply to most cases.lol.anger can be derived from jealousy,hurt,disappointment too.hmm.if ppl angry with you,i think e first instance u will be like wah lau.this person got problem lah.so petty.maybe u shld take a step back and find out wad is e cause.i think if sumone impt to you never gets angry with u.think u will feel funny and insecure instead?lol.humans are funny and weird creatures.most of e times,emotions control us more than we control them.yupp.so when u are angry,muz show yur anger by communicating effectively but not do stupid things.in e end,there will be no quarrels or arguments,instead will get closer becuz u release yur emotions in e right wae thus the person knows u care fer him or her and therefore he or she will not get angry with u.instead he/she will feel happy and comforted tad u are angry becuz u show tad u care and love him/her. : )
sumtimes when u get too tired,
u'll realise sumthings r juz meant to be let go : )

2005-06-26T23:32:00.000+08:00

its has been a long time since i update bout how i feel.handover in june camp.realise tad i wasted my four years in st john.didnt do anything much.and most importantly e friendship btw my batch is like.haiii.disappointed and hurt.din expect things to turn out this wae.how i wish i cld turn back e time at sec3s loh.now handover le.we are no longer in st john.but i think its like we oso dun care each other le bahx seriously.nvm nvm.hope things do get better.anyway hope tad e bond between the other batches in st john will not turn out to be like us.becuz its reli saddening and heartbreaking.
i dunno where to put my faith anymore le

2005-06-19T12:50:00.000+08:00

_too serious too soon

I wonder where you are
I wonder what your thinking about tonight
I wonder
Maybe your alone
Maybe you've been crying just like me
I wonder
I don't know why I lost your touch
Maybe I wanted to be loved too much
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
It's been a rainy afternoon
Now I'm Staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon
I told you every day
I told you every night in every way
I love you
Maybe you got scared
Maybe I have nothing else to say
But I love you
So baby now my life's a mess
cos I couldn't love you any less
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
It's been a rainy afternoon
Now I'm Staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon
Too soon
It's not right
It's not fair
It's in you baby cuts like a knife
what if you were the love of my life
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon I wanted you to love me
we got too serious to soon
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
too serious too soon
I wanted you too love me
It's been a rainy afternoon
Now I'm Staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon

2005-06-13T21:47:00.000+08:00

hmm.it has been a long since i last blog mann.lol.so many things have happen and there are like too many things to say le.firstly its st john camp is over and we have handed over le.well,i muz say there are mixed feelings of cuz.feel sad becuz i am leaving and i am officially like not in ahsjab le.though e road in st john is full of ups and downs but, these are the times whereby i grow stronger and mature.it reli helps in my character building.yupp.and of course relieved tad everything is over.i no longer need to hold on le.this is reli a big relief for me seriously.there's gotta be more to life.so i am going on to my next phase of life le.hopefully the new batch taking over will be united and do a good job and i am sure they will do better than us! :)
now its the malacca trip.this is the last camp tad council is having.this is sad mann.when we learn to treasure each other and we have to leave each other liao le.haish.time reli flies.how i wish i can go back to sec2?haha.impossible.so yup.muz learn to let go becuz no matter wad.fact doesnt change.it remains.look on e bright side of life?haha :)
i hope tadi will learn to cherish wad i have now and not regret in e future and i finally realise i muz fight for wad i wan. :)

2005-05-22T23:22:00.000+08:00

finally exams r over le.wow.results r back too.i dunch noe wad to sae.of cuz i am feeling down and everything.but dey cant get me down i guess.it can onli make me get stronger.i believe i can do it one dae.prove to those who think i cant make it.and not disappoint those who supported me.of cuz most impt is myself.i have learnt another lesson yet again.i wun repeat e same mistake again.
at times, i reli hope i can do alot of things but i noe i cant.jus hope tad no matter wad.i dun give anybody e wrong idea or wadd.i will always be dere fer those who wan me to be dere.its hard fer me to keep guessing.so tell me straight will u?
life is so vulnerable.during family dae.i learn another lesson.alot of things r not within our control actualli.we are juz so vulnerable.and i know how much this person means to me.without this person when i was riding my bike alone,it was like my whole mind is in a mess,in darkness.it reli tells me alot.and maybe i cant live without this person.just too important to me =D
sumtimes its good to think simple.i jus hope i can continue like before.give my all to you =D

2005-05-14T09:04:00.000+08:00

good morning and its raining now.firstly, i would like to thanx denise fer telling me about GOD.lol.u were right in many ways.just when u needed someone.he was dere to ask u to stay strong to guide u to do the right thing.i was never alone despite many things have happened.it makes me realise tad i shld treasure those who have treasured me.i would like to say a big thanx to Shimin, Siyao, Qi Xiang and Jemima.i reli treasure the frenship btw us.it has been like 2 years le bahx.yup.though things din go reli well,it helps to grow closer.hope we will nva forget each other.there r many things tad one feels but din do.in e end u lost e chance to do it.i rather say it out now.at least i wun have regrets in my life when i die.i have walked a road filled with obstacles and dangers in 16 years.i think no one will ever experience the feeling tad i feel.becuz things tad have happened is so not typical.sumthing which i think i rather not face until later part of my life.but i cant decide.GOD has plans fer everyone.and he taught me wad i shld learn from these incidents.and i got it alr.do wad u wanna do and not wad u shld do.dun ever hurt the most impt person to u.u nva know how much pain and hurt e person feels.its reli heartbreaking.life is like tad.its never fair.but i thank GOD fer wad he has given me.at least he was dere with me to walk with me down this road =D

2005-05-10T13:56:00.000+08:00

hmm.i think i am affected by it yet i think i shld not feel this wae.nvm.shld not talk bout it anymore.i can feel ur presence day after day.and i know i shld peservere on and continue to walk on becuz i noe u are with me =D
i did poorly fer elit.i am sorry ms ng :(
chem and geog all e wae =D

2005-05-07T23:10:00.000+08:00

mid year cuming.i will try my best fer thses two weeks.hmm.juz tried out e last year math paper.i thought i prepared well.in e end.wad a disappointment.well, i can onli try my best seriously.two days left.or rather 1 day bahx.i dunno how much i can do to improve my studies.hope to get good marks cuz i think i reli tried quite hard but not the hardest.so well.leave it to fate bahx.need some breathing space now.resting my mind a while more to prepare fer the upcoming battle.jiayou to myself.and to all ppl taking exams.jiayou too.
"have faith in wad u do ; u'll make it thru"
i read sumone's blog.came across this line "love doesnt need a reason"
i think it is v.true.i agree with it totally :)
when i need u, u're almost here
and i know tads not enugh
and when i'm with u, i'm close to tears
cuz u're onli almost here :(

2005-05-01T11:33:00.000+08:00

it's juz one week awae.mid years is cuming le.i still have so many more chapters to go.hmm.i shall try my best and work to my fullest fer these three weeks.hope i can do it. "have faith in wad you do, you'll make it thru" yup.now bridge is such a nicee game man.lol.we can juz spend hours playing bridge loh.tads like so wonderful mann.haha.i dunno wad u are thinking and i dun think u noe wad i'm thinking too.but it is getting better?hmm.i am still waiting fer tad dae.everyone who is reading this.GAMBETE! =D
-right here waiting-

2005-04-24T16:39:00.000+08:00

i dunno wad i am feeling now.i juz feel tired each dae man.oh no.tads bad.i think i have low self-esteem all of a sudden.i am afraid wad i will do on mondae.haish.i juz dunno wads damn freaking wrong with myself.haish.and i am not like wad most ppl said.i am just a normal boy.maybe i shld just bang my head against e wall so tad i can wake up?i dunno.argh!wad a sucky dae todae loh.i reli hate it mann.todae is juz not a good dae at all
rain rain where are you?
i juz hope tad i wun regret my decision
i will try my best to get myself back on feet
i am gonna do it and win e battle =D

2005-04-23T18:59:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel tad life is reli unfair.its like when it seems u going to win it.in e end u did not.why liddat or is it GOD has plans fer everyone?sumtimes when i feel i gave my best yet did not get in return wad i am supposed to get.and its not once.its many times.i am reli tired le.i dunno.but ppl commented i am over-confident.is it that this over-confidence in my heart tad lead to my many downfalls?i guess it is bahx.cuz i cannot find any other reasons fer my failures.being in e same com fer so long.now den i know how much my other member has suffered in silence fer so long.it is so heartbreaking.and i feel reli guilty tad i did not even know at all.i dunno how e others will feel.but i reli feel so xin suan.seriously.but this person reli hide it so well tad we could not even see.or is it tad we are so not committed then we neglect this person fer so long.haish.i reli dunno.i feel so shi bai in every areas of my life.studies cca council and everything.nothing seems to go well.wads e point of sacrificing time to put into cca and council.as a result parents scoldings nagging studies like shit.in e end.both sides i got nothing.tired.tired.nothing can describe my feeling now.hanging on fer another month.its cuming to an end.i oso noe i dun have good ren yuan laa.i know it laa.alot ppl dun like me bahx.i am just sorry tad i just dun have tad look to make u all like me?i have achieved nothing in my 16 years of life.nothing =D
where are my raining daes &
where r u when i need u e most?

2005-04-16T23:50:00.000+08:00

Brian:
Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you
Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?
Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here
Brian:
I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me
Brian & Delta:
Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, how it hurts
Brian:
Oh, haven't I always loved you?
Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here
Brian & Delta:
Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, now it hurts
Brian:
Haven't I always loved you?
Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
Brian:
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
Delta:
And when I hold you
You're almost here
Brian:
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
Brian & Delta:
And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Brian:
Cause I know I'm almost here
Brian & Delta:
Only almost here

it's very late now.almost e next dae.here i am thinking and thinking bout people-people relationship.it can be so complex and upsetting.i know how much i need tad person.yet i dunch know wad shld i do.i knew tad e person might not even care.i told myself "y shld i bother bout a person when e person dun even care bout me?"but its nva easy.as wad she says.even though e person might not care fer you.it doesnt u dun care fer tad person.how true.but i dun like tad feeling.i am sensitive at times.i tried my best.but i still duno wad to do.maybe i shld let go and not expect too much.but its gonna hurts.but if i dun.i will get more upset if tad person doesnt care.but it might be tad all along.e person cared fer me yet it was me who did not wan to show onli?its so complex and hard to guess.which one shld i take?i reli dunno.i dun wanna to have any regrets anymore.i lost many and i dun wan to lose any anymore.shld i show or shld i let go?i am still thinking.shld i show [M]y care fer yo[u]or let g0[W]?

2005-04-15T22:37:00.000+08:00

i think i am gonna do sumthing reli good on tuesdae man.haha.i am so evil.taking down my badge and return it to my superior.haha.how nice ah?maybe i am like kicking up a big fuss.nahh.doesn't matter anymore.just do wad i feel like doing.and tad feels great man.so i not going to care.NYAA.not as though u miss one session.and u cannot make up another dae.nahh.forget it.jus tad u are forever correct.have u all ever thought bout e feelings of e ppl who planned so hard just fer everyone to have fun anot?guess u all never.just do wad u wan.saying irresponsible things like wads the point.just F off my life laa.wah lau.i reli hate these kind of ppl.simply sucky.promises.meant to be broken.nahh.i jus gonna do wad i wan.i dun care wad u think of me.its a fact tat i hate you.=D

2005-04-12T21:14:00.000+08:00

seriously i dunno wad to sae.tads so saddening laa.u know wad u have done laa though u might not know.nahh.forget it.dun talk bout youu anymore.maybe u are innocent.but i dun think u are.maybe lack of trust or wadd laa.tad is ur fault becuz failed to make me trust you =D
when i heard e news.i was so super sad and devastated.but i dun think u even care laa even u know bout it.i am just a piece of shit laa ok?u win.i lose.but nvm.you can be with the who u wan to be laa.lalalala.i am so stu[pid].reli man.argh!!

2005-04-10T14:58:00.000+08:00

hmm.no need say le larh.alot of ppl alreadi write in their blog le bahx.yup.out of 4 championships we got it all.yup tad is absolutely wonderful seriously =D everyone was reli happy and everything bahx.it was indeed a joyous occasion.and i was especially happy on seeing AA's results.haha.din expect ourselves to get this kind of results.it was reli a happy win.we did it =D
and fer my AC1.haha.congrats to you all.yup.first aid not bad ah.thot it will be the one to pull u all down.instead u all got best long case.din do much to help you all becuz i had trainings too.yup.sorry.nothing i can do oso.end com cuming le.muz listen more to samuel and get serious bahx =D we work hard together and i will help u all in any areas if u all ask me to =D
getting into end com reli worries me.yup.happy is a definite one.but alot of commitment and effort is reli needed to be put it.this is of cuz.but i am reli worried bout studies area lo.and i am reli lousie at tad.i hav poor time management oso.haish.i mean i reli will go all out fer end com.but studies how?haish.and my whole team oso feels this wae.dunno how le larr.we'll cross the bridge once it cums to us bahx
i am reli grateful to the ppl who supports me in the times whereby i nearly broke down and giving me the confidence tad i will do well.and thanx those who said good luck to me and prayed fer me.i reli appreciate tad.esp you.do u might never know bahx.anyway reli a big thanx to all these ppl being dere when i need you all to.
sumtimes life is like this.happiness is always short-lived.u got to reli treausre it when it cums bahx.yeah =D

2005-04-03T18:27:00.000+08:00

i begin to see the light.now i noe who are the people who are true to me.not many.its reli very little.haish.i think i am being negative mann.but i think its true after all.sumtimes i reli tried my best to do wad i can.argh!i have alreadi tried my best bahx.i am tired.sumtimes i wanted to tell my good frens the bad things tad others say bout dem.but wad do i get in e end?they doubted me and even say things which are not true about me.i mean.i am doing wad i supposed to do.i din wan others to haf a bad impression bout u.wanted u to change to becum better.nahh.u keep think tad wad i said is to just to say bad things bout u or maybe u even think i hate u larh.whatever.i am tired larh.doing wad is right and fer the benefit of u and dis is wad i get?nahh.i dun wanna be so stupid anymore.i shall pretend not knowing anything.so even if ppl say bout u.i not going to care.let ppl hate u bahx.wads the point of saying when u dun even trust me?nahh.i am totally at loss of words bahx =D i shall move on to another youu
i wanted to have a nice chat with you.but it seems tad u dun wan to.maybe u oso wan larh.budden its like i get negative feelings lorhh.i wanted to show u tad i reli care fer you.but its hard larh.i dunno bahx.nvm.let nature takes it course.but i reli do care fer you alot alot.no matter wad happens.i am always dere =D
nobody is perfect.we got to accept everyone fer who dey are.
need someone to rely on forever.will you be the one?

2005-04-02T20:47:00.000+08:00

wad a todae arh.needa go to sch to be first aider fer soccer match larh.wad a move =D it was very boring seriously.haha.thankfully was raining =D anyway poor vortex who lost to last min goal.argh!tad is sad man.i mean dey fought hard much better than their previous meeting.but haish.still lost.they deserved a draw man! =D nvm.after this match.i went to someone's house.surely not slack one.go dere eat afta tad sleep.haha.funnie man.slept with my contacts.wah.so dangerous.wake up.feel very uncomfortable man.then i use eyedrop.then felt better.think the contacts was super dry larh.haha.the person say can get blind one leh.lol.next sat is a big day.whole of ahsjab will be at st john HQ.will we be able to continue like the years before and obtain the 4championships?i am reli very worried.if anyone of us can still rmb,we won onli 3 championship last year and it was a great loss to us.last year was the year tad broke the chain.no one could accpet tad kind of loss.it was a disgrace.hopefully.GOD can bless us.4 championships we muz get it fer sure =D "have faith in wad u do, u'll make it through"
it rained todae again
how nice man =D

2005-03-29T19:48:00.000+08:00

todae was crappy dae.lol.nothing much to do oso.but todae got back a test.my first fail argh!last term oso one fail.and its the same sub.geography.haish.dunno wads the prob.fail by half mark.wad a move.try harder lorh =D and social studies we did so badly larh.onli 13 ppl got 13/25 and above.wadda move lorh.haha.i got like 16.but its badd.becuz i reli studied v.hard and my ss is not badd onee.but its okay larh betta than geog at least =D tml got AA training thursdae oso got.surely wun tired de larh.budden com is next sat.haish.its like so fast but our team like nva feel the pressure.dunch know why.very scared next week.wad will happen?i am wondering mann
i am looking forward to tml man.exciting =D

2005-03-26T18:56:00.000+08:00

it seems to me dere is no trust between you and me.i get upset bahx.maybe u say i am petty or wadd.wadever larh.its up to you.i dun care at all.not as if u said i am liddat.then i muz change juz becuz of wadd u said?never.i will never be so easilt controlled.maybe others will change drastically becuz of a few words u said?yup.u're popular i noe.very popular somemore.wadever u do ppl also know.so i dun bother u anymore.let you be in the limelight =D i guess you enjoy it bahx.tads good fer you.but wad i feel is tad.i think i will drift further and further from you bahx.doesnt matter to you aniwae.u have so many ppl arnd you =D i seriously dunch like who you are now.haha.nvm.its okiee laa.you lead your life i lead my life.think liddat da jia oso happy mah =D
sumtimes i wish i cld turn back the time, the time where i start to get close with you.but i know its impossible.treasure the past =D
it rained again and
i feel better again =D
the rain always cum when
i am feeling down
thankew you alot

2005-03-25T22:47:00.000+08:00

since a long time.i updated liao le.actualli nothing much to update laa.main concern is zone com is cuming soon.and i am very worried and excited.argh!its like our standard so wadd lorh.haish.dunno wad to sae wad to do.sianx man.we can onli win laa.no such thing as losing laa.pressure.i can feel it man.and got so many proposals to do man.die die.muz hurry le.and i am looking forward to camp man.haha.its gonna be fun mann =D take care people =D

2005-03-20T21:21:00.000+08:00

heyys people.if u hate yourself and wish to be another person.think twice.you shld be who you are.no one shld wish to be another person.hear the song and the read the lyrics.you will learn how important it is to love yourself.this is wad u shld be doing love yourself and stay the same =)

Joey Mcintyre-stay the same =)
[Chorus]
Don't you ever wish
you were someone else
You were meant to be
the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say
you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself
you're better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same,
cuz dere's nothin' 'bout u I wld change.
[Verse]
I think that you could be
whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize,
all the dreams you have inside.
Don't be afraid
if you've got something to say,
Just open up your heart
and let it show you the way.
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
Believe in yourself.
Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You'll make it through.
[Chorus]

2005-03-19T14:52:00.000+08:00

this morning.my father got a serious attitude prob.go into my room.shout here and dere over some wire thing and sounded as though it was very serious laa.when its so minor.hai.totally affect my mood in e morning.i was like moody when i was in e car on my wae to dental appointment.later den feel sorta of better.i mean alreadi xi guan le.and it is raining now.feel at ease.hmm.tuition gonna start soon.waiting fer my teacher to cum.haha.and school going to re-open le.and haven done anything.hai.slack man.dunch know wad i wan.promise myself to work hard.yet i broke it again and again.wad is dis.i am ap-man.but i am happy to be myself becuz this song "stay the same"by Joey McIntyre taught me to love myself and be proud of who i am.the lyrics is reli meaningful.u all can go listen...take caree...
"dun u ever sae u dun like the way u are"
"cuz dere's nothing bout u i would change"
"i think tad u cld be whatever u wan it to be"
"dun u ever wish u were someone else"
"you were meant to be the way u are exactly"
"have faith in wad u do and u'll make it through"
these are some of the phrases from the song.(very nicee!)

2005-03-17T09:42:00.000+08:00

when my heart starts to feel this wae "i wanted to be dere fer u like no one else before" i knew i had fallen in love.
when my heart says "too serious too soon, i wanted u to love me"
i knew how much i need you in my life
i felt scared when i think this wae "i'm weak, its true. cuz i'm afraid to noe e answer, do u wan me too?"i am reli afraid to know the answer becuz i knew i wun get the answer i wan, so i decided not to say wad i feel.
"i've waited all my life to cross this line"but i juz carn get enough courage to say how i feel becuz i know even if i say it out, it isnt gonna help at all. i will love you in my heart always.but u will never know becuz i will never show it out.i will treat you like anyone else,tads me.

if one day when i gonna leave,i may tell you maybe i will not
but i just wanna sae i reli love you and i reli reli do love you alot. i just hope you will find happiness and i'll be contented alreadi =)
*how i wish it will rain everydae*

2005-03-14T23:29:00.000+08:00

i am here to update.nothing much actualli oso laa.but den actualli have two outings but both cancelled =(.tad sadd.haha.but might as well laa can study fer upcoming tests oso.tml still got training man.tads gonna be tiring laa.but nvms.we muz work hard fer competition.aniwae i believe in this phrase. "love a person whom u know u carn live without him or her" love is sweet but oso hurtful. its better to love someone or to be loved by someone? i dunno.haha.its such a difficult question.but i know tad dere is two impt persons.dey r just impt.nothing else.how nice.its best not to fall in love man =) its late le.take care people =)

2005-03-10T21:55:00.000+08:00

today is CIP dae.wad a nicee one.good start in e morning and ends well too.haha.at least i think so?went to eat lunch at pasta mania.it is so funnie and lame.PURPOSELY waited fer one hour.jus to get 30 % offer man.haha.budden at least got to save money and we weren't in a rush either bahx.yupz.and jiu go back.wad on 69.haha.and saw someone.the situation wad very funnie.lol.went back slept fer so long.but still feel tired leh.sianx man.aniwae today is a nice and happy dae.no sadd things.i like todae arh.but nothing special too.tml sec3s cum back loh from sentosa.they have nicee time bahx.like last year.we had a nicee time too.hmm.and the stupid good fren ap me fer dunno wad laa.so sadd lorh.i treat tad person so nicee this is wad i get larh.horrible.wadever larh.i am so angry whwn thinking of it.and fer ppl who are flying to US (apparently dere is onli one i think).haha.have a nicee time k.take care too.=)

not giving u my heart
is to save some pride
fer myself =)
i know i love u
tads why i let u go
u will nva be replaced =)
still wating fer tad dae
where bus no.1 arrive
on a rainy dae
waiting patiently =)