14.12.04 -

i have been thinking alotss.i reali want to say what i have been hiding in my heart.seriously i have no confidence in our squad.i guess no one dared to say.but i am saying it now.i am reali tired at times,i had to hang on and hang on fer the sake of Ahsjab and i kept hanging on to e belief tad squad4*05 will return be alive.will it reli happeN?i dunno.i mean ever since we became NCOs,i am reli tired.i tried my best to do my best fer ahsjab and our squad.i mean i inform u all the training dates.and u all promise to cum and later u all din.u know how hurt and upset i wad?i guess u all dunno.i just wan u all to cum and face everything together as a squad man.i feel like breaking down at times.btu do u all even care?u all just do wad u wan?and even my good fren who used to say wad we muz work hard and get into com team when NCOs.but now wad r u doing?i trusted u time and time again.u took my trust fer granted.i reli dunno wad to say.during farewell, i tried my best to choreo dance steps and give my best in help.i know at times i cant help much but i reli tried?i am sorrie to those tad i din give my help when u all need it?but i learn and memo hard the steps and teach the rest.but u all just din wan to dance and just wan to slack.wad r my efforts fer?i mean u all just need to come and learn nothing else.i dun need u all to be perfect but just learn and perform as a whole squad.i reli feel tired reli tired.no matter how hard i do,u all still think tad is useless.i am not impt to any of u i guess.u all can do wad u all wan.u all may think u all cum and its liek doing nothing and waste time.but at least u all make e effort to cum and at least we are as one now?have u all reli thought and feel fer the rest of the squad ppl who have been doing their best in giving fer ahsjab?do u all love us and wan as as frens and squad-mates.i have been waiting so long fer u all to realise how tough it is fer us to hang on here.at least when tad dae cum,i can tell myself everything is worth it.but seems like u all just do wad u all wish.pls think twice u guys.i am not giving up yet.i dun wana to.....and fer those who thinks tad u cant cope becuz u all got something else.and u wanna quit SJ.i think u are selfish.i mean u think fer yaself onli.but i respect ya decision.i dun think we expect much from u too.if u need help we'll be there and we dun ask u cum fer trainings too.how does SJ affects your performance.i dunno wad.u are using SJ as an excuse?i dunno.u;re not like tad.why did u change so much?i am reli hving secodn thoughts le........
as fer council, i am reli sorry to my committee and esp welfare.i promise to balance both sides well and do my best.i know i have been neglecting council but i will learn to manage my time well de.dui bu qi welfare.we can do it de.i believe tad welfare can return to where it is in e past.welfare go!we can do it de!*tk caresss everyone
right here waiting_pls prove to me its worth it_*

11:16:00 PM
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