8.12.04 -

bout*myself_
today was such a free dae man.din do a single proposal at all.keep sleeping and sleeping like a pig.woke up @ 12 like tad.cook noodles ate bread then at 3 plus went sleeping again lo.wad a waste of time.budden nothing much to do.so sianx.actualli got larh.but just plain laziness bahx.yeah.then i think of many stuffs.just realise tad i muz be criticised in order to do my best lo.still rmb once my eng cum form teacher use my compo during lessons to tell my classmates where my compo has gone wrong.it was full of many errors and many ppl laugh at me.saying my english pro(sarca).then i feel so angry and upset with e ppl and myself lo.so i wanted to sorta prove myself man?yeah.in e end during mid year i scored 32/40 fer eng compo.highest in e class?everyone was stunned.even myself bahx.shocked by my own ability man.hahax.
the next incident-my parents went fer parent-teacher meeting.then once again my eng teacher told my parents " xavier reads rather mono and he does not have feelings when reading.i think he will do badly fer his oral."my parents came back and told me.i was so furious man.i mean how can she say tad loh.haixx.was so disappointed.shall prove her wrong again.then during final year oral.the results came back.hee.guess wad?i gotta 37/40 highest in class loh.nothing to say man she.she cld onli say sum ppl did amazingly well shich she didn't expect.hahax.i proved her wrong man!so contented.
i think i muz admit tad if i am being praised,i will get big-headed and wun do well le.so muz recieve more criticisms man.hahax.
haixx.i guess i am a real failure where my love life is concerned.i mean i am realli selfish to make her suffer and upset but trust me i realli din wan to de.the actual reason is something which i cant say.i mean e reason is a real selfish one.u will hate me if u know bout it.yarr.i realli feel lost at times.i had to make choices which either of them gonna make my loved ones upset.so i made one.it was you.i am realli angry and disappointed.but i knwo u hate me u hate me lots.i dun ask fer ya to forgive me bahx.i know i am in e wrong.i just hope u find someone betta bahx.u dun love me anymore le i know.i wish u all e best man.sincerely.since i cant give u wad u wan.i am sorry.realli sorry.ppl anrd me hates me now.i deserved to be hate.i am a loser a big big one.a big failure a big big one.haixx.i dunno wad else i can describe bout myself larh.a big sucker,bastard,asshole.i am sorry to you and everyone who loves you.yeah.
*i will promise to be by your side if u shld need me__
youuu shld hate me.hate me fer all u wan*_


9:46:00 PM
My Buddies